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Joke of the Day

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!! *holds up severed head The crowd stared in horror as the National Spelling Bee contest took a morbid twist."

"Why couldn't Mewtwo move? There was too much friction."

"""STOP IT STOP IT. CUT. THIS IS ALL WRONG"" I scream at my cats dressed like vampires. ""This is NOTHING like Twilight!!"""

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? His Fresh Prints"

"It's important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching."

"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"

"What happens when you drop a decimal point in water ? it floats."

"A Buddhist Monk goes into a pizza place... and says ""Make me one with everything""......"

"What's the difference between Whitney Houston and a black widow? Nothing. Neither can climb out of a bathtub."

"Did you hear about the actress who stabbed her husband at dinner? That blonde girl Reese.... Not Witherspoon, with her knife."