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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between tequila, and all of my relationships? Tequila never goes bad"

"My wife gets crazy when it comes to sex. I've had it with her."

"Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!"

"a nativity scene but with a giant burrito instead of a baby Jesus"

"I met a horse who keeps talking about the apocalypse. He told me the end is neigh."

"Of all the lies I tell, ""I was just kidding!"" is my favorite."

"You attract more men when you smell like butter, sauteed ham and onions than any expensive perfume."

"Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No."

"Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked."

"We lost a planet but gained a zodiac sign. I guess that's a good constellation prize."