211063

Joke of the Day

"How are bad dubstep and constipation similar? Both leave you waiting for the drop."

"Ive tried everything to get my dog to behave. Ive tried shoving it into a wool tube, stabbing it in the neck and head, etc. nothing works."

"When I said ""I'm really good in bed"" I was referring to sleeping. Sorry for the misunderstanding, you can pull your pants up now."

"A man got a vasectomy without telling his wife. When she found out she said ""ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"" ""Yes, I'm not kidding you."" he said."

"I kidnapped this girl last night... And she yelled ""Please, I don't want to die a virgin!"". If that isn't consent, I don't know what is."

"My friend bought a stone mirror. It reflects poorly on him."

"Like it or not this joke is binary."

"Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment? They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas"

"White people dance like they have an invisible hula hoop around their waist."

"""I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy."" Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin"