211025

Joke of the Day

"You hear what they are calling Bruce Jenner's new TV show? ""Cait Plus 8-inches."""

"The biggest flaw with the new Apple iCar Is installing windows."

"'You have an important event coming up? OwmeeGod, count me in!' -pimples."

"HER: Are you a dog or cat person? BRAIN:*be cool, she seems pretty great* ME: Whatever you want to eat is fine. BRAIN: *nailed it*"

"A Jewish kid asks his father for twenty dollars. His father replied, ""ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I'd be happy to give you a dollar, here's one cent."""

"if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named ""Maude"" or ""Agatha"" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine"

"Your girl may be jealous of the time you spend on your phone. To be fair, it has 4G and she only has one, and it's hard to find its signal"

"You don't see faith healers in hospitals for the same reason you don't see psychics winning the lottery."

"Peter Dinklage is a Star! He is a White Dwarf."

"I just read a Facebook ad that said ""Come in a designer, leave a CEO."" Not sure why they're offering dating advice, but okay."