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Joke of the Day

"An American cop stops a man driving. ""Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?"" ""Umm, no?"" ""Neither do I"" *cop shoots man 6 times"""

"Fuck! I forgot to bring my reusable bag to Whole Foods. People are throwing rocks. I'm bleeding. Send help."

"Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life."

"Gramps' head was chopped off by a helicopter blade and same with his dad and his dad before him. So no Rod, you can't go to helicopter camp."

"We had an assignment on terrorists in school once. I bombed it of course"

"Why did Blackbeard cross the road? To indicate where the treasure is buried."

"[OC] Hey, Reddit. Wanna hear a joke about a defective condom? Actually, never mind. You pricks would probably just poke holes in it."

"What is your preferred type of birth control? ""Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence."""

"What's the squeakiest ride at the fair? The haunted mouse"

"What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? ""That's the end of me!"""