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Joke of the Day

"You HAVE to listen to this song, it's perfect. Okay, this opening is slow... The vocals aren't great here... Wow. This is trash, and I am trash."

"I called the Muslim suicide hotline but they kept asking me if I can fly a plane."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1..... Because they are very efficient, but not very funny. Courtesy of my brother /u/twinhawk"

"Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in."

"Q: What did the tree say when it messed up? A: It was an oakcident."

"My dentist told me I have to stop masturbating. I said, ""Why?"" He said, ""Because I'm trying to work on your teeth!"""

"That moment you are trying to figure out if you are Joey, Ross, or Chandler and you realize you're Gunther."

"What's DJ Khaled's favorite number? 11, because it has another one."

"It's so weird to think that nothing before the invention of pics happened."

"My son asked me to pass him the salt So I gave him a soap bar."