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Joke of the Day

"You HAVE to listen to this song, it's perfect. Okay, this opening is slow... The vocals aren't great here... Wow. This is trash, and I am trash."

"Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. I said it."

"When a Mexican uses the word ""wheelchair"" in a sentence..... ""Hey I only bought one torta but don't worry wheelchair."""

"Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship? All they will do is fight tooth and nail!"

"What's red and has seven dents in it? Snow Whites cherry."

"Everyone thought the swordsmith was very persuasive He made a good point"

"My uncle died on 9/11 Those buildings can come out of nowhere."

"Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle."

"What do Lady Gaga and E. L. James have in common? They both wrote bad romance."

"I always tell new hires, don't think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you."