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Joke of the Day

"What did the Japanese man say to the hooker? You might feel a tiny prick."

"The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try."

"I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula. I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change."

"Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy"

"Don't joke about 9/11. My father died that day. I clearly remember what the last words he said to me were. ''Allahu Akbar''"

"I once solved a Rubik's Cube by not buying it."

"Eating that peanut butter cup was better than sex. Believe me, sex with a peanut butter cup isn't that great. They're selfish lovers."

"Cool story bro, needs more dragons and shit - how Game of Thrones started, probably."

"Possessed by a demon? Need help? A 30-minute cardio exorcise should do the trick!"

"My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I'm lucky I eat at all"