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Joke of the Day
"My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I'm lucky I eat at all"
Next Joke
"Where do bees go to the bathroom at? at the [BP Station](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Bp_station_zanesville_ohio.jpg) *Sorry, I know...its a Dad joke.*"
"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call."
"Where do you find a dog with no legs? In the fridge where you left it! (No offense, just a joke!)"
"It seems like instead of ""say cheese,"" photographers in the olden days were like, ""everything is meaningless."""
"Before you criticize someone... walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."
"My birthday is coming up, wife agreed to bday sex. Thankfully she'll be out of town on a business trip so I'll have the house all to myself."
"Baby Bear: Someone's been eating my porridge! Mama: That's wonderful, dear. Papa never eats Mama's porridge anymore. Papa: Jesus, Linda..."
"The England squad have been receiving death threats and this morning they awoke to find a horses head. Fortuneatly, it was only Wayne Rooney asleep."
"Don't forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra, the panties and many other problems."