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Joke of the Day

"Drug Dealer: U have to tell me if ur a cop. Cop: U have to tell me if ur a dealer. DD: U sure? Cop: Ya Im a cop, I know laws Oh damn it."

"What's the difference between everybody and bullets? Everybody misses Harambe."

"Why did the skeleton cross the road? He never crossed the road, he didn't have the guts to do it."

"What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla? Anything it wants!"

"They're calling the internet a drug now. Don't worry, though. It's not as bad as Cocaine or Heroin. They're calling it a 503 bad gateway drug."

"Have we tried unplugging coma victims and plugging them in again? Works for my computer."

"A mom walks in on her daughter getting it on on the couch with a boy. ""Well, I never!"" the mother huffed. ""But mom,"" the daughter protested. ""You must have!"""

"wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us"

"Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights. Just kidding, women redditors are cool."

"Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi."