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Joke of the Day

"I returned some shorts to Walmart and bought a pizza, with the credit I had received, to share with my wife... She kinda ate my shorts."

"Q: What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human? A: Lettuce pray"

"College parties are great: You're taking shots with future doctors and the next Supreme Court judge is throwing up in the bathroom."

"How to pass a very difficult exam? Change your name to time, time always passes no matter what"

"Did you hear David Copperfield got AIDs? He did Magic."

"I was astonished to learn that the meat in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way. I mean how the fuck do they fit a rucksack on a cow?"

"When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed."

"What's the difference between a baby and a window You can't rape a window"

"FIRMS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF OFFERING SERVICES YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AT PRICES THEY REFUSE TO DISCUSS."

"What do you call Virgin Mobile? A nun in a wheelchair"