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Joke of the Day

"Thanks to whoever invented the mute button, because I can poop while on a conference call."

"What do you call the Dollar Tree stores in Britain? Pound Town"

"I just donated money to help create water reservoirs for families in need. It was money well spent!"

"I haven't lost my virginity yet Because I never lose"

"[PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever"

"What does a dog from Minnesota say? Woof da."

"How is Christmas just like another day at the office? You do all the work and a fat guy in a suit gets all the credit."

"Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell."

"Why do Jews hate soda? Because they're gassy"

"I had a best friend who wore a gorilla suit everywhere... he was my prime-mate."