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Joke of the Day

"What is the core of Uranus called Urectum"

"What do you attach to a transgender chicken? Dez Nuts!"

"Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose."

"I'm not saying your mom is fat but she'd be worth a lot more in the UK"

"""Daddy,"" a little girl asked her father, ""do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "" ""No, sweetheart,"" he answered. ""Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"""

"How many vampires does it take to open the Curtain on Daylight? Just one with depression."

"[China] ""You have to get good grades"" KID: But it's so hard! ""We're Can-tonese not Cant-tonese"" KID: You gotta admit that's a bit confusing"

"What would Hitler say to his son? Look, I am your Fuhrer"

"At this point, every item on drive-thru menus should have ""Uhhh..."" in front of it."

"I'm sorry that you invited me over to your apartment for dinner and I created a negative Yelp review about the experience"