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Joke of the Day

"Why is there no gambling in Africa? Cuz there's too many cheetahs."

"Officer: have you been drinking? Me: no sir 0: you were swerving M: Twitter O: oh, I'm on Twitter what's your handle M: yes, I was drinking"

"Why do married women have sex with the lights out. They can't stand to see a man have a good time."

"""The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."" ""And did he?"" ""Yes I had to sell the car to pay the bill."""

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"I asked my friend in North Korea how it was there. He said he cant complain..."

"I'm nog saying your mom's a slut but when you were born she did slid you in and out a few times"

"The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on ""bankrupt"" being an option."

"Wife called up her mom and said, ""He fought with me again,I'm coming to live with you."" Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you."

"Why Beyonce? Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..."