210496

Joke of the Day

"*wakes up before alarm goes off* please be 5am please be 5am *checks time* 2:34pm, februrary 25, 2054. NOOOOOOOOO"

"Lost and Found I was reading the lost and found section of the paper and saw this: ""Found, one black boy's bicycle."" Wonder how they knew?"

"Obama: Who were you talking to before he came here for the meeting? Biden: Young Metro. Obama: Why did you call- Biden: Shhh. I got this."

"Most people love a good munch box Lunch*"

"What do Mormon's and tweekers have in common? Both ride bicycles and bust mission."

"Why don't you see any slow black people? All the slow ones are in prison."

"Seven billion other people in the world and not one of them are naked in front of me right now. That just isn't right"

"Saw some Advil on the floor this morning and sincerely thought ""Better just leave it there so I know where it is."""

"I'm coming out with a new type of whiskey called cunt... So when someone asks me what i want to drink I'll yell cunt liquor."

"Whats better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ!"