210479

Joke of the Day

"TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you're on offer it a chip. If it eats it you're on a seagull. Disembark immediately"

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them."

"A half Chinese, half Italian mobster came into my store today He made me an offer I couldn't understand"

"How did Arnie convince his wife to move in with him? ""Live vit me if you vant to cum"""

"Why did the bear run around his bed? He wanted to catch up on his sleep."

"I rely too much on Outlook. My calendar has ""leave work"" at 6, ""brush teeth"" tonight at 11, and a ""blink"" alert recurring every 2.5 seconds."

"Why was the Eunich Squirrel unhappy? Because he had no nuts."

"What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100? I'd say it's fifty fifty"

"What's a pigs favorite muscle? The hamstring."

"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well"