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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Trump nominated a deaf guy to the Presidential cabinet? Congress confirmed him without a hearing."

"A man wanted to name his son a very long name... ...so he named him Miles"

"My doctor told me during my physical that I needed to stop masturbating When i asked him why, he said ""because I'm trying to give you a physical!"""

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?"

"There are three types of people... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"You know I would love to show you the toys my elves make for adults."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in lindsay Ontario. Couldn't find three wise men. Or a virgin..."

"This is Eric's wife. He accidentally left the house without his phone. TELL ME EVERYTHING."

"What do Jewish pedophiles say to kids? Hey, wanna buy some candy?"

"My career is in ruins. It's fucking great being an archaeologist."