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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?"

"Why did the football player laugh when he broke his arm? Because it was humerus."

"My doctor says that I'm unstable and that I should get a lobotomy... Fuck him, first thing in the morning I'm gonna march right in there and give him a piece of my mind!"

"I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting."

"On a scale of 1 to 10 on the hungover scale I'm at ""can't handle this conversation with my mom about a hickey."""

"""There are Nutella stains all over the silverware."" It can't be me. I lick them before I keep them inside."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock up someone's ass."

"What do you say to Simba when he's slow? Mufasa! ""move faster"" heu heu heu"

"So I finally got around to watching the Twin Tower attacks 9/11 would watch again."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? [NSFW] He doesn't want anyone to know he's been fucking the chickens!"