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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?"

"Have you ever tried to eat your own watch? Well it's very time consuming."

"What's better than winning gold at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded."

"So my friend held up a can of coke... And asked, ""How do people snort this stuff?"""

"Chef 1: You can't serve cake for breakfast, moms won't allow it. Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it? 1: GENIUS!"

"Q: What do astronauts eat for dinner? A: Launch meat."

"I got a boner at a funeral today.... Mourning wood."

"I'm a virgin by choice. Just not my choice."

"Took a screenshot with my iPhone with the intention of texting a picture of my cracked screen.So the answer is no I didn't graduate college."

"Two dyslexics walk in to a bra"