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Joke of the Day

"Talking to a Beaver So I was talking to a beaver one day about how I was homeless and told him I was looking for a new place to live. He gave me this commiserating look and said, ""Well dam."""

"Why do teenage girls hangout in odd-sized groups at Starbucks? Because they can't even."

"Everyone's excited for the new Minecraft movie. It's sure to be a real blockbuster"

"I hate whales I was out at sea and a whale almost destroyed my ship, a crewmember said that whale collisions where common in that area. But I'm positive that whale hit my ship on porpus."

"A man is complaining about his girlfriend in the late 17th century... Man: ""She's just a complete witch."" Not sure if it's an old joke, but I came up with this one at the bathroom."

"A young boy's life changed when he found out he could shoot a white sticky substance Only this young boy could also do it from his wrist. Hello spiderman."

"They're really just ""Grammer Nazis"" But the media keeps calling them ""Alt-Write"""

"Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery? He wanted to keep his spirits high."

"I know you look at the toilet paper after you wipe."

"I've been waiting for the bus so long, someone just stapled a lost cat flyer to my chest."