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Joke of the Day

"Shame that UFOs coincidentally stopped visiting just at the moment when high-resolution digital cameras became ubiquitous."

"If there is a zombie apocalypse I hope that they are thriller zombies because they're fabulous dancers"

"Do you remember the ""Hold a coke with your boobs"" challenge ? It was a trend a while back to promote awareness for breast cancer. I'm just glad a similar stunt wasn't pulled for prostate cancer."

"Tag every baby photo you see on on Facebook as Verne Troyer."

"If Hooters had delivery, would they be called knockers?"

"Selfie Stick - Picture taking device used when the internet has made you so socially awkward you can't ask a stranger to take a pic for you"

"Ain't therapy great? He yawns, but doesn't seem bored, If you think of his bill, you are poor, If you're feeling blue, and want to get screwed, ""The Rapist"" -it's there on his door."

"I was curious just how big this Trump dick is, after hearing all the news from last nights debate, so I googled it. From the pictures I would say he's about six feet, maybe a little taller."

"Your mama is sooooo. . . fat. Then when she comes over she blocks the Wi-fi signal."

"""911 wats ur emergency"" hi-- huh? um-- so, uh-- ah. oh geez. well im only just now realizimg that the girl at the bar gave me a fake number"