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Joke of the Day

"Tag every baby photo you see on on Facebook as Verne Troyer."

"I used to be married to a girl with a wooden leg. But then I broke it off."

"What is the one army in the world that could defeat the US army in a war? The Reddit army!"

"Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note."

"How do you sink the unsinkable? Zat is a qvestion for a philosopher, not a comedian!"

"Why don't plumbers ride bikes? Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack"

"Actually told a girl who's moving to France soon that ""there's lots of French people over there"". It's a wonder how I can even bathe myself."

"Bathroom Boy: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Only if you can say the alphabet Boy: OK abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz Teacher: Where's the p? Boy: ""Half way down my leg."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you up."

"""Girl, if I have to put my love for you in numbers..."" It will be cincuentas."