210332

Joke of the Day

"My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today. He is survived by his wife Linda. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund."

"In the future, everyone will have to make a public apology for 15 minutes."

"How much does a slave cost? I have no idea, I just know they aren't free"

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER! -I haven't fucked any mothers yet but yours is at the top of my list."

"Have you heard my joke about construction? I'm still working on it"

"Why do men die before their wives? They *want* to"

"The past, present, and future walked into a bar... It was tense."

"""As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?"" ""They all called to say they're running late"""

"The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste."

"I'm depressive and suicidal, though I have great news! I have terminal cancer! :D"