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Joke of the Day

"""As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?"" ""They all called to say they're running late"""

"Why is Simba slower that his dad? Because his papa mufasa."

"A 6'-6"" guy doesn't scare me, but my 5'-1"" wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married."

"I would go to alcoholics anonymous But everyone already knows"

"What does Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common? They both stick their raw meat into five year old buns. It's been almost 6 years...is it okay to make jokes yet?"

"A ""lady"" and a ""woman"" are exactly the same thing unless they are prefaced with cat."

"""Why don't British people pronounce their T's? Because they're all in the Boston harbor."""

"I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. I'm not sure which race yet."

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls."

"Why did the noodles go to rehab? To get yakisoba."