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Joke of the Day

"How to Keep an Idiot in Suspense - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ... I'll tell you later."

"I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger Then it hit me"

"Why do men masturbate? it is sex with someone they love"

"me: ""we commemorate the day you died every year"" jesus: ""thats nice, what's the day called?"" me: jesus: me: jesus: ""keith?"" me: ""bad friday"""

"It still really upsets me that my dog stopped talking to me around the same time I gave up taking hallucinogenic drugs."

"Dear people who manually retweet, I hope the next time you're about to get laid someone steps in and does it for you"

"FLY WITHOUT WINGS Q: What is a fly without wings? A: A walk."

"[1st day at Subway] Boss: u said u'd done this before Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I'm really more of an abstract sandwich artist"

"What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea? Nah. I'ma stay."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 12 years old and locked in a cellar"