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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the others a little lighter."

"Calling your girlfriend by her Moms name during a fight is a great way to escalate the situation."

"Whenever your ex says, ""You'll never find someone like me."" You reply with ""That's the point."""

"Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going."

"How can you spot a blind guy at a nudist colony? It's not hard."

"I figured out how to talk to girls Just walk up to them and press A."

"You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow."

"What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen? Activates its shelf destruct sequence. I'll see myself out..."

"Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?"

"How do you get a grad student off your porch? You pay them for the pizza."