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Joke of the Day
"I figured out how to talk to girls Just walk up to them and press A."
Next Joke
"Did you hear that Rene Descartes accidentally committed suicide? He just wasn't thinking."
"What did the blind man say to his estranged friend? ""Long time, no see."""
"What is Samsung's next Note series phone after Note 7? Samsung Not Explode"
"How do you get a polar bear in the water? First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!"
"Asking someone out is so unpredictable. You never know exactly how they're going to say no."
"A small blue garden bird made of mahogany. It would be funny if I had a punchline.. Wooden tit."
"My girlfriend walked in on me again while I was eating cake frosting she'd hidden in the fridge. I hate getting caught masticating."
"7yo: ""Who's singing this?"" Me: ""Franz Ferdinand."" 7yo: ""But, he died in 1914."" Me:"
"A man goes to a zoo... The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It was a shih tzu. ^shit zoo"