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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: When do astronauts eat? Pupil: At launch time!"

"How do you get the emo out of the tree? Cut the rope."

"From my 11 year old cousin: What do you get if you cross a pond with snowshoes? Wet."

"Why does Heisenberg hate driving? He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer."

"""If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open."" said the boss at my new job. ""Why do you need a door then?"" I asked him."

"What's the best machine to impress women at the gym? The ATM"

"What do you call a happy dolphin? Endorphin"

"MRW I see all this Fine Bros news [removed]"

"I heard there's this amazing place underground... ...where you can have sex with miners."

"*Pops up from the backseat as you're driving* *Duct tapes your neck to the head rest* Now, why are you telling people I'm crazy?!!"