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Joke of the Day

"""If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open."" said the boss at my new job. ""Why do you need a door then?"" I asked him."

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"60th birthday Last year my mother should have been celebrating her 60th birthday, but because of drugs, alcohol and many hard years of addition. we all forgot..."
"You'd be shocked at how easy it is to walk into a nursing home and draw mustaches on the dementia patents"
"How do you trap a polar bear? Dig a hole in the ice, and line the edge with peas. Then, when the polar bear comes along to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole."
"The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO"
"According to my family tree I'm the sap."
"What does weed and your girlfriend have in common? They both leave me sticky fingers. [7]"
"A robot walks into a bar. ""What can I get you?"" the bartender asks. ""I need something to loosen up,"" the robot replies. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver."
"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands. This is always funny because it never grows old"
"How do you pick up a jew? With a dustpan of course!"
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