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Joke of the Day

"What's the best machine to impress women at the gym? The ATM"

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"I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues."
"i love how flies rub their hands together like little criminals"
"Why does Star Wars Movies numbering scheme starts with 4,5,6? Because in charge of the numbers, Yoda was"
"What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common? The balls are just for decoration"