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Joke of the Day

"Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person says: hi"

"I used to give really good advice. Then I got my wisdom teeth taken out."

"When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top."

"What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood!"

"A man's wife asks him: ""Have you ever considered having a threesome with me for a change?"" ""To be honest, having twosomes with you would be already be a change"""

"What do we want? A cure for Tourette Syndrome! When do we want it? Cunt!"

"Joke from a 5 year old kid: how come dinosaurs don't talk? me: ...why? kid: because they are all dead. source: stolen from Brian Reagan's standup."

"Have you heard the joke about Whole Foods? It was so bad it made me sustainably groan."

"My middle finger is always ready to give you a standing ovation after you say something stupid."

"Just bought Colgate mouthwash 'cause it builds stronger gums and someday my gums might have to lift a car off a baby."