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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Mainly, the taste."
Next Joke
"Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Facebook instead."
"What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar..."
"The worst thing about being deaf is... when I masturbate, I can't hear anybody come in my room. *Not even myself.*"
"Anytime I see a tweet in a different language, I read it as ""Oo ee Oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang."""
"I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again."
"A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong."
"Why is Budweiser like sex in a kayak? Its fucking close to water."
"What do you say to a burn victim if you pour acid on them? Woops, tee hee."
"What are three words you don't want to hear during sex? Honey, I'm home!"