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Joke of the Day

"Black paint Political correctness has gone to far these days. You cant even say black paint any more, you have to say ""Tyrone, please will you paint my house?"""

"My grandpa keeps complaining to me that my generation relies too heavily on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support."

"Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter."

"My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones"

"April Fool's Day pregnancy jokes stopped being fun when my parents started getting excited instead of scared."

"What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left? Oh, gosh!"

"Did you here about the nun who took up knitting? She was making quite the habit of it."

"[stops during sex] If you spin my fanny pack around, there's sandwiches in there. Help yourself."

"Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now Louise who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !"

"What's the most popular red wine?? We want our land back!!"