209975

Joke of the Day

"What is the most offensive joke you know? I'm bored tonight and I have a no holds barred sense of humour. What are some of your worst?"

"Stalker status update: Good news-I'm not in your house. The bad news-I am UNDER your house and the tunnel is complete."

"A jokey named Chris is running late for his race... ...his coach points at his horse and yells ""Chris top her"" Edit: Spelling"

"What do you call a guy that steals burgers? A hamburglar!"

"What did the baby seal order for lunch? The club sandwich."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back"

"If you happen to be a dirt road, expect someone wearing a cowboy hat to write a song about you today."

"Q: What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? A: Are you my mother?"

"Finishing up my time machine. Bolting down the flux capacitor now. I'll start small and go back a couple of seconds just to see if it works."

"ME: Onions make me cry. HER: It's from a compound called Syn-Propanethial-S-Oxide. ME: I think it's probably cuz an onion killed my parents."