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Joke of the Day

"Nietzsche tells a joke. A man walks into a bar. The man sees himself sitting at a booth in the bar. The bar blinks out of existence. God is dead."

"I've been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone."

"You can justify pretty much any shit you put into your body these days simply by saying, ""But it's got antioxidants."""

"Redundancy: An airbag in a politician's car!"

"Went to glasses shop to check my eyes,the worker told me I had estigmatism,I googled it.... Because I was blind on the subject."

"There are two types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"Jokes about women aren't funny... Period."

"Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!"

"I bumped into Brad Pitt the other day They say you shouldn't meet your heroes, but I think Brad handled it really well."

"What does a Jewish pedophile say to a child? Do you want to buy a candy?"