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Joke of the Day

"The doctor told me I couldn't lift large objects for two weeks after surgery. Guess I'll be peeing sitting down for awhile."

"Asian women look 16 forever and one day out of nowhere look 159 years old."

"A donkey falls into a bowl of sugar... Now, that's a sweet ass."

"What did the creationist student say when asked why he didn't have his homework on natural selection? My dogma ate it."

"How do you torture Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it."

"""Do unto others and stuff."" (Lesser-known brother, Josh Christ)"

"What's the capital of Canada? Tim Hortons."

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge: You may *benches 200lbs in 3 sets of 20 reps* The defense rests"

"(Me giving a Rorschach test) What do you see? Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one? Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again."

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."