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Joke of the Day

"When my grandkid loses his 1st tooth, I'm putting $1 under his pillow and a note that says ""I'll be back with a hammer for the rest. -Tooth Fairy"""

"What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD? One is a cunning runt."

"How many scientists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's what interns are for."

"Is amazed how I go to bed with normal hair and wake up looking like a beat up version of medusa. Am I fighting crime in my sleep? Wtf."

"My friends holds her breath driving past cemeteries cause of superstition but I thought she just didn't want to be cocky about breathing"

"It would be easier on everyone if my kids' teachers would cut out the middle man and email my homework assignments directly to me."

"Isn't it fun how many different shapes pasta can be? My wife left me last night."

"According to the bible, women's first mistake was listening to the devil. Man's first mistake was listening to the woman."

"An Irishman offended everyone in the pub by making witty jokes about their mums. What was his name? O'Byrne"

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Their kids haven't ."