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Joke of the Day
"How does Liam Neeson like his martini? Taken, not stirred."
Next Joke
"Protein in my laundry If you captured it all you'd be able to fuel a Chi Psi chapter right before a lacrosse tournament."
"Hey baby, are you a cloud server? Because I have something to upload from my hard drive."
"Been yelling just awful things at people, trying to improve my chef skills."
"Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]"
"Next time, instead of complaining about how bad you have it, think about other people, and how to make things bad for them."
"""Paypal me your lunch money!"" -Cyber Bullies"
"Guess what? Chicken butt."
"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!"
"What do you call a communist hip-hop musician? MC Hammer and Sickle."