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Joke of the Day

"Been yelling just awful things at people, trying to improve my chef skills."

"I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex. He's a small arms dealer."

"Is this sub Pi? There seems to be an endless supply of jokes, and I swear it's gonna repeat itself at some point."

"Whenever I have sex, it's always a race to see who cums first.... Me or the police."

"I bought a new sex doll... it's so realistic she doesn't wanna have sex with me."

"I heard that virus is quite the athlete . . . Ebola perfect game."

"[in class] Me: hey, can I borrow a pen? Guy: sure, black or blue? Me [sweating & swelling up]: you got one for bee stings?"

"Accidentally fell asleep at my grandmas funeral Wouldn't you know, I woke up with mourningwood."

"Why Did The Blind Student Get an F On His Paper? He didn't sight sources."

"Be like Mario! Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"