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Joke of the Day
"How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber? Raisin' Bran."
Next Joke
"Ten: Number of fingers children have. Twenty-six: Number of fingers children have when you try to put gloves on them."
"Some of your timelines are my morning paper."
"ME: I love the D HER:Why? ME:I love to lick them first HER:... ME:Then I love to swallow them HER:... ME:I love D Dunkin' Donuts Interview"
"What makes you special? My extra chromosome."
"WIFE: you've had enough ME (eating my 68th breadstick): aw man OLIVE GARDEN MANAGER: let him eat one more lol"
"What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when he hits a windshield? His ass."
"What gets higher with age? Willie Nelson"
"A black man picks up a girl from a nightclub... Back at his house, she says: ""show me what they say about black men is true..."" So he stabs her and runs off with her purse."
"My Reddit posts are just like my prostitutes. They always end up getting buried."