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Joke of the Day

"Mall security asked me to empty my pockets. My response was ""you won't find a better job or respect in my pockets"""

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"Why did Eva Braun dislike giving Hitler blowjobs? Because he left a Nazi taste in her mouth."
"My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I'm the racecar, sometimes I'm the iron. But usually I'm a peanut because I've lost all the game pieces."
"Best Joke of all Time Civil Rights Act of 1866"
"What do you get when you cross a black and asian man? (slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive."
"Welcome to the Psych Med Club! We were working on a secret handshake, until we lost interest in the things we once loved."
"ME: I wonder if it wrestles cutely too? ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the panda enclosure. ME: lol. No. *gets mauled to death by panda*"
"Max has 40 cookies, and decides to eat 34 of them. What does Max have now? Diabetes."
"Stevie Wonder got a cheesegrater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he's ever read."
"wherever this dart lands is where I'll take a trip to *throws dart and it lands on Hogwarts poster* oh, well this is going to be difficult"