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Joke of the Day

"Cows What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Donald Trump"

"Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""...."

"What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm? A tattoo."

"[Cops at crime scene] Cop 1: Criminal scum. They must have taken every single toilet. Cop 2: Wow, they really left us nothing to go on."

"A baby mouse is out for a walk one day and sees a bat... He quickly runs home to his mother and says ""Mummy! Mummy! I just saw an angel!"""

"Why is it easy to defeat an army of suicide bombers? There are no experienced ones"

"PSA: Always tip your prostitutes. Small tips are fine. That's what they get paid for."

"Why does snoop dog need an umbrella? Fo' drizzle...."

"""I'm sorry"" and ""My bad"" mean the same thing Unless you're at a funeral"

"Netflix is making a documentary on the upcoming presidential inauguration. They're calling it ""Orange is the New Black""."