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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin. Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then!"

"Studies show ""not jokes"" are coming back and are likely to be funnier than ever. Not."

"My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!"

"What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop? Your tires are low."

"My son came to my crying today and said, ""Dad, when you are at work, Uncle Dave touches me."" Couldn't believe it.. My own son... A fucking snitch"

"If a magnifying glass ever got into a fight.... ...It would be easily intimidated."

"Did you hear that the Department of Agriculture is outlawing round bales of hay? They claimed the cows weren't getting a square meal."

"They're like plastic slippers Wearing crocs is like getting your dick sucked by a dude. It feels great... until you look down and realize your a fag. That is all - Carry on :)"

"How do you set a woman's watch? You don't, there's already a clock on the stove."

"Waiter there is a frog in my soup ! Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !"