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Joke of the Day

"They're like plastic slippers Wearing crocs is like getting your dick sucked by a dude. It feels great... until you look down and realize your a fag. That is all - Carry on :)"

"The Soviet Cycle of Procrastination First, you are Putin down your work. Then, you are Stalin for time. Finally, you are Russian to finish."

"They say in life expect the unexpected'. So I did, and f*ck all happened. I wasn't expecting that."

"Girls who marry for money & guys who marry for beauty are equally robbed in the end."

"One day a skunk and an opossum go to church. They had to sit in their own pew."

"Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics? Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA."

"The problem of guns in schools would be eliminated if society finally had the courage to outlaw schools."

"What do you call it when a prostitute makes paper birds? Whore-igami"

"I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses... Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!"

"Terrible advice for a suicide survival hotline: If at first you don't succeed..."