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Joke of the Day

"If I ever get attacked by a shark I can only hope that I'm smart enough to get out at least one Jaws quote before I go under."

"Why didn't the bear go to college? Because bears don't go to college."

"How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor? poop."

"Germany loses at home, and Japan beats America in overtime... M. Night Shyamalan's pitch for a World War II movie."

"Me: Do you like the new ceiling fan? Her: Yeah, but the fan light is really dull. Fan light: Ok wow like I'm right here"

"Instead of throwing the first pitch, it'd be fun if Presidents had to quarterback the first play of a football game."

"Why do clumsy farmers make awesome DJ's? cause they're always dropping beets"

"Did you hear there was a stick up on the bridge? Yeah, they don't know how it got up there considering there are no trees there."

"What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon."

"What do you say when you are comforting a grammar Nazi? there, their, they're."