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Joke of the Day

"One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry said Mullah is it a member of your family?"

"They took my mood ring... ...and I don't know how i feel about it."

"What vegetable is the favourite of British people? Queuecumbers."

"It turns out no one likes ""the real me"" and they have asked the priest to reverse my exorcism."

"You know the meeting has gone completely downhill when someone suggests sacrificing a chicken."

"If you were my gf, I'd have a warm bath and a meal ready for when you got home every day Her: I'm your wife Like I said, if you were my gf"

"Your license plate should be your phone number... So when you drive like a dickhead, I can let you know about it."

"[date gets back from the bathroom] those batman toys in the tub are so cute! How old are your kids? ""kids?"""

"Every time I go for a Jog I get hit by the same bike It's a vicious cycle"

"So there are the baby boomers, generation x, and millenials. What do we call the next generation? Fucked."