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Joke of the Day

"I was wrong about Hillary not having sufficient doctoring. Turns out she's surrounded by spin doctors."

"How many minutes equal one orgasm ? One eight year old."

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."

"I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk."

"I was asked to come up with a list of 10 sexual innuendo... But I accidentally came up with 11, so I had to rub one out."

"If there was a race of the mentally disturbed, the necrophiliac would come in dead last Get it cus he bangs dead bodies?"

"HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD"

"What's Michael J. Fox's favorite drink? a milkshake"

"Did you hear about the boy who wanted to run away to the circus ? He ended up in a flea circus !"

"Don't send me a face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked."