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Joke of the Day

"FRIEND: get our wedding invitation? ME: i did, somebody hand wrote 'do not bring pan flute' F: yea i really wanted to make sure you saw that"

"Meek Mill's diss track walks into a bar... Bartender takes one look at 'em and says, ""We don't serve trash."""

"You know what the funniest thing is about dementia?"

"? Hey there Delilah, can we handle this discreetly My stomach reacted badly after eating old zucchini ? and I just pooooed ?"

"I think I might be dying But I really like the color of my hair right now."

"Why did Simba's father die? Because he couldn't Mufasa."

"I can never remember if X is hug and O is kiss or if it's the other way around, so sorry if our tic-tac-toe game starts off a little weird."

"Why couldn't Batman go fishing? Because Robin ate the worms."

"I let friend's kid call my ex & say ""Are you really my daddy?"" while I'm in the background yelling ""hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"""

"What do you call snacks served at a brothel? whore d'oeuvres"