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Joke of the Day

"I know it's crazy to think that every time I have deja vu, it's actually happened before, but..."

"Did you hear about the Doctor who fell down the well? He was taking a break at work and leaned too far over a well and fell right in! Guess he should have tended to the sick and left the well alone."

"Why is the door knob? Because the key. (ok, i will show myself out)"

"New drinking game: Draw a card, if it's black take a shot... I call it Ferguson."

"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? You should know, you've only read it twenty times."

"Did you hear about the two peanuts that got lost in the bad neighborhood last night? One was assulated, the other was shelled."

"What is the same with you, a pet cat, and a pet dog? All of them are adopted"

"How do you use calculus in real life? You integrate it"

"What you get if you cross an r/jokes redditor with an author of books about the past? History repeating itself."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? (OFFENSIVE) Two in the front, 3 in the back, six million in the ash tray."