13387

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two peanuts that got lost in the bad neighborhood last night? One was assulated, the other was shelled."

"What do you call a crow who repairs time pieces? A bird watcher."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks 'does this taste funny to you?' Ba da ba, tshhhh."

"Had phone sex then I got hearing aids. EDIT: then"

"The cable guy said he'd be here sometime between 1:00 and April, 2016."

"I have but one question Why did curiousity kill the cat?"

"Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype"

"""Dad. Dad. DAD! Please just come home. You promised us you'd stop after Volume 46."" - Creator of NOW! That's What I Call Music's children"

"So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?"

"How do you make an octopus laugh? You give it ten-tickles"