20907

Joke of the Day

"When I'm dead, these tweets will be worth twice as much."

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"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers a mile off."
"Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk? To make them happy before they die."
"What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice? WATAAAAAR"
"A man was at a Christmas party in San Bernardino ... Everyone was on their best behavior, so when the man spilled his drink, he said ""shoot."""
"""Doctor Doctor, I have three vaginas"" Well is it causing you any problems? ""Problems!? I'm getting fucked left right and centre!"""
"I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them."
"What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley."
"How did the Mathematician cure his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."
"Whenever I get a ""Final Notice"" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction."