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Joke of the Day

"""Doctor Doctor, I have three vaginas"" Well is it causing you any problems? ""Problems!? I'm getting fucked left right and centre!"""

"Hey movie villains make a bomb where the wires are all one color."

"What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad? That's methed-up!"

"Why can't you run in a campground? Because you ran: It's past tents. I'll show myself out."

"I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it's the duct tape of food."

"[Hospital] Doctor:""...and so the baby is fine."" Me:""And my wife?"" Doc:""I'm afraid she's critical"" Me:""I know! But how is she?"""

"What is M. Night Shyamalan's favorite pastry? A cinema-n twist."

"Why are 9/11 victims the best readers? They can go through 94 stories in seconds!"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You thought it would be 'R' but all pirates love the 'C'."

"Parents: Don't let your kids get fake tattoos. Get 'em get real deal prison ink & teach 'em something about this shit called LIFE."